For some reason, I don't know if my hormones are changing or something, but I've been crying even more here lately. I started to think that maybe it could be annoying to others, that maybe it would seem "fake". I began questioning if I was just "too emotional". But I've been thinking about it a lot here lately. ha! I've probably even cried over it! And I've come to the conclusion that yes, I am an emotional person. I very emotional. My every move, thought, decision thrives on emotion. Which sometimes, of course, gets me in trouble because I forget to include some kind of logic. But throw logic away for a second and let me share my heart. Because I no longer feel any guilt for the amount of crying that I do :)
So why do I cry? Simply put, it's how I release my emotion. I don't know why, but that's what it is. Therefore, I cry when I'm happy. Sad. Stressed. Overly Tired. Mad. Joyful. You name the emotion, and I bet there's been a time when I've cried when I felt that way. I also find myself crying for others. Or when I see something pretty or beautiful. Geez, I bet anyone reading this thinks that I'm just a basket case. ha! And maybe I am. But please don't discount the amount that I cry for lack of emotion. I don't know if that makes sense or not. But when I cry it is because I truly, honestly FEEL something. Even if it is a lot. I think with my heart first and then maybe my brain.This is going to sound super corny, but it's like my heart pouring out of my eyes. It's true emotion. Especially when it comes to others. Sometimes I don't have the perfect words to say, but I can cry for you. Man that does sound crazy. Maybe it's a curse, but could it be that it's actually a gift? When I say "I can cry for you", it's because I love you. I love you so much that I can feel a piece of your heart. That's why sometimes I even cry when I see something while I'm out and about that reminds me of someone I love. I cry because I know that person would love what I'm seeing.
Gosh, I didn't realize how hard this would be to explain. I don't even know if what I'm saying makes any sense. lol well probably because I'm not a logical person. I'm really just writing this for myself though. I'm definitely not a writer, but it does feel good to write sometimes and be able to see my thoughts written out. ha! so welcome to my diary! :)
Now, I promise that I'm not constantly crying. There are many days that pass by that I don't even shed a tear. I'm just an emotional human being. I must be honest, for a while, I did think it was a curse. But no, it's not. It's me. It's how I feel. It's how I love. It's how I cope. It's how I share. It's how I identify. It's who I am. And I'm not ashamed.
